Fun stuff goes here.

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Tony Collins 1073
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Tony Collins 1073 » September 7th, 2018, 9:42 pm

For men and women with

a sense of humour

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Tony Collins 1073
Posts: 745
Joined: December 6th, 2008, 10:00 am
Location: Braintree. Many Miles from any "Large Model" club
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Tony Collins 1073 » September 7th, 2018, 9:46 pm

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Phil Cross
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Phil Cross » October 21st, 2018, 12:59 pm

This is Priceless!



This is Priceless!

Note reference to the "Main Stream Media"...

72 years ago‼️





What is meant by the modern term referred to as "POLITICAL CORRECTNESS"...

The definition is found in 4 telegrams at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence, Missouri.



The following are copies of four telegrams between President Harry Truman and General Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WWII Surrender Agreement in September 1945.



The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war - not a word has been added or deleted!



(1) Tokyo, Japan 0800-September 1,1945



To: President Harry S Truman

From: General D A MacArthur



Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?



(2) Washington, D C 1300-September 1, 1945



To: D A MacArthur

From: H S Truman Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!



(3) Tokyo, Japan 1630-September 1, 1945



To: H S Truman

From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz

Wilco Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?



(4) Washington, D C 2120-September 1, 1945



To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz

From: H S Truman

Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of **** by the clean end!



Now, with special thanks to the Truman Museum and Harry himself, you and I finally have a full understanding of what 'POLITICAL CORRECTNESS' really means…..

Tony Collins 1073
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Tony Collins 1073 » October 27th, 2018, 10:26 am

A warbird that is really worth watching

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWZTTg0hEwI

Steve Perry
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Steve Perry » November 22nd, 2018, 10:19 pm

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, boring flight isn’t it? Take care and have a look here!”

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, only to swoop down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks, "Well, how was that?"

The Boeing pilot answers: "Very impressive, but now have a look here!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same speed. After five minutes, the Airbus pilot radioed, "Well, what are you saying now?"

The jet pilot asks confused: "What did you do?" The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched my legs, went to the back of the flight to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon cake and made an appointment with the stewardess for the next three nights - in a 5 Star hotel, which is paid for by my employer. "

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Jack Kennedy
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Jack Kennedy » December 5th, 2018, 12:51 pm

Sadly This Is Real Life

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It's where we are.
The only way is up

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Jack Kennedy
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Jack Kennedy » December 14th, 2018, 3:36 pm

BREXIT 50p Design Leaked

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Jack Kennedy
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Jack Kennedy » December 20th, 2018, 12:55 am

PORSCHE DRIVERS

A Merchant Banker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off.
More than a little distraught, the Banker grabs his mobile and calls the police.
Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!'
After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust.
'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Porsche driving Bankers are,' he says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life.'

'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' cries the Porsche owner.

The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your arm was torn off when the truck hit you.'

The Banker looks down in horror.

'Bloody Hell' !!' he screams........'Where's my gold Rolex????...
The only way is up

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Jack Kennedy
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Jack Kennedy » February 15th, 2019, 2:01 pm

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Phil Cross
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Practical Thinking

Postby Phil Cross » February 15th, 2019, 9:00 pm

A Thief entered a house mid-afternoon.

He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money.



The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can kill me also. But please untie the rope and free her.”



Thief: “You must really love your wife!”



Man: “No, but she will be home shortly”....!

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Jack Kennedy
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Jack Kennedy » March 9th, 2019, 10:50 am

Words For Teenagers

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Tony Collins 1073
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Tony Collins 1073 » April 26th, 2019, 9:57 pm

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Phil Cross
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Re: Fun stuff goes here.

Postby Phil Cross » May 7th, 2019, 8:55 pm

Jeremy Corbyn goes to the bank: "Good morning", says Jeremy, "could you please cash this cheque for me ?"

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir, but could you please show me some identification?"

Corbyn: "I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I'm Jeremy Corbyn, Leader of the Labour Party and the Opposition!!"

Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are Sir, but with all the bank regulations, monitoring, impostors and forgers etc., I must insist on seeing some identification".

Corbyn "Just ask any of the customers here at the Bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am!"

Cashier: "I'm sorry Sir, but these are the Bank rules and I must follow them".

Corbyn: "I'm urging you, please cash this cheque for me".

Cashier: "Look Sir, this is what we can do. One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without any ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and putted a ball along the floor and into a small cup. With that sort of skill we knew it was Tiger Woods and we cashed his cheque.

On another occasion, Andy Murray came in without any ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and lobbed a tennis ball straight into my teacup with such a spectacular shot that we all knew it was Andy Murray.

Corbyn starts to think and think and finally says, "To be honest, there is nothing that comes into my mind. In fact I can't think of a single thing that I'm any good at."





Cashier: "Will it be large or small notes you require Mr Corbyn!"


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